the definite understanding of having a relationship

ive spent the last four months, almost the whole my forth semester in college for exactly
on being a titanic human falling in and out of more than a dozen of uncertain relationships.

i felt like i HAD to-when in fact i could barely hold myself together.
being with someone to fill my voids only resulted in conditions, overdosed expectations, and temporary fixes that changed every min.

what i needed was saving,
not all the efforts and emotional baggage that comes with the real and true one relationship.

and few days ago, i just realized that it's just:

you find each other.

it's not about you searching for endlessly,
searching for the person who will "completely complete" you,
you both have something to give,
something to teach.

and i'm sure as hell,
i know that any relationship that feels like one person is doing the other one's favor is the kind of thing that none, even me,
don't want to be in.

xoxo. j